Stitching Limericks Redux

Back in March 2011 and 2012, I sponsored a stitching limerick contest.  I had intended to make it an annual event but somehow dropped the ball in 2013.  But it is time to resurrect the idea.    For educators, March is the longest month of the year, no holidays or long weekend breaks, the kids are bored to tears with school and longing for the summer, discipline problems arise, exams loom ... well, you get the idea.  So, in March, I tend to find or make up reasons to play.  So, let's all have a some fun and exercise our little grey cells as Hercule Poirot would say.  Writing a proper limerick is a disciplined exercise so to make it worthy of your effort, I am offering a $20 gift certificate to 123stitch as the prize for the winning entry.

Remember, limericks are defined by Google as a humorous verse form of 5 anapestic lines with a rhyme scheme aabba i.e., they have a definite pattern:
10 syllables/beats to the first line,
7 syllables/beats to the second line,
6 syllables/beats to third and fourth lines,
9 syllables/beats to the fifth line.
The rhyme pattern: lines 1, 2 and 5 rhyme; lines 3 and 4 rhyme.

Here's my 2011 limerick:
There once was a stitcher named Riona,
Who used up all of her toner,
Printing freebies galore
Till she had so much more
Than anyone ought to be owner!

And here's my 2012 version:
There once was a stitcher named Riona,
Who, when you tried to phone her,
All your calls she'd ignore
As she stitched more and more.
Her friends thought this flaw a real groaner!

And my 2014 version:

There once was a English Band Sampler,

Stretched on a stand with a clamper.

The stitcher who owned it

Had diligently sewn it

Till she was one happy camper.

As you can see, I decided not to try and find more rhymes for Riona.   It seemed more sensible to look for another hook from which to hang my rhyme scheme.

Leave your limerick in the comments ... any entry not fitting the above definition will be disqualified ... it must be a true limerick! At the end of the month, I'll have my husband pick a winner from the comments and award that stitcher/limmericist a $20 GC to 123stitch [an online shop]. Thanks to all who participate.  I look forward to seeing all the creative entries.  Also, if clicking on your name won't lead me to a profile with your contact info, please leave an e-mail address in the comments.